Random Thoughts That Might Get Me Into Trouble!

Before I start tonight's dispatch, there is a necessity - at least that is what Linda has told me - to get my defence in first because I may be a touch derogatory about the French and their habits and customs,  even though they are our hosts for at least three weeks.  We have been visiting France on a regular basis for nearly forty years and perhaps that is defence enough?  Yep, we keep coming back despite their determined efforts to drive us and every other tourist away due to the militancy of their trade unions and work force!  So random thought number one is in respect of French trade unions and I call on President Hollande to get a grip or should I say, "ressaisis-toi!

Amazingly, only 8% of workers here are members of a union and yet they seem to wield so much power.  From petrol blockades to Air Traffic Controller strikes.  From ferry blockades to Air France pilot disputes.  Oh, and the occasional French farmer unleashing his full muck spreader outside the local town hall, everything is planned to bring as much disruption and unhappiness to as many people as possible and yet despite this, France continues to attract more visitors than any other country on the planet!  83 million at the last count!  I'm not against trade unions, honest but how can so few people cause such grand scale grief and heartache?

Random thought number two is about French toilettes.

How can they possibly call a three inch diameter hole in the ground with a Neil Armstrong moonprint either side, a toilet?  Actually, its common name is a squat toilet but for me, it remains a hole in the ground!  Can somebody please tell the French we are currently in the 21st century?  It has been a nigh on forty year nightmare for me that I would have to use one of these one day.  To date I have avoided it but the fear remains whenever we hit French soil. 

I am sorry to report that random thought number three remains on the subject of toilets, particularly those on French campsites.

Why is it that most of these sites which have acknowledged the arrival of modern times, now install proper pedestal toilets but fail to fit a bloody toilet seat!!  Never mind the hygiene issue, I am the beneficiary, as mentioned in previous Blogs, of the "Coy arse"!  It's generously proportioned but even with this particular attribute, I do sometimes consider the size of some of these toilet openings and fear the prospect of having to be rescued by the French pompiers!  To add insult to injury, the porcelain can be very chilly at 6 in the morning!

I know I am sounding like a very grumpy old man but random thought number four concerns the French and their abject devotion to our canine friends.

There are thought to be at least 10 million dogs in France - most of them seem to be currently visiting Camping les Ramieres!  Nobody seems to be worried about dog poo and by that I mean the owners. My dog can sh*t where it likes appears to be the general approach and this includes the children's play area!  I love dogs but this isn't funny and the owners should be ashamed of themselves.  Perhaps it's a reflection on the toilet habits of those very owners?  As Michael Caine would have said, "did you know that in 2015, the British bought 1.85 million poo bags and the French bought just 3,600?"  Says it all!

I am nearing the end and will do so with random thought number five.  It's also about dogs!

Whilst here, we have witnessed dogs being pushed around in prams, dogs being carried in baby back packs and dogs using dummies!  Aaaaagghhhhh...!  They have four wheel drive, not two like us, they have woolly coats and the last I heard, they love to chew on a juicy bone.  You really have to worry for the French.

Probably best to stop now as the hole I've dug is getting pretty deep.  I promise to return to more normal updates tomorrow but I do include one photo tonight of me and nine month old Sam watching the magnificent victory over Wales!  I had to agree with pundit Sam that it was nowhere near magnificent but I translated his "goo goo, gah gah" to mean, a win's a win grandad!